Hi Reader, In my last newsletter on threesomes, I said that the most important conversations aren’t just the ones before clothes come off—they’re the ones that happen after, too. So today, I want to build on that and share something practical: a debrief template for processing group play in a way that feels intentional, connected, and growth-oriented. The best (and hardest) group play experiences I’ve had all shared one thing: they left a trace. Sometimes it was a glowing, expansive high....
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, I was recently interviewed by my old friend Eileen Kelly for her first Vogue piece, where she shares her own (failed) threesome experiences—and we explored what it actually takes to make threesomes work. 👉 check out the Vogue article here It’s a topic I’ve thought about deeply—personally, professionally, and academically—and today, I want to share more of my own perspective. Let’s be honest: threesomes are one of the most common sexual fantasies out there. (According to Dr. Justin...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, Have you ever noticed yourself comparing your relationships—and then feeling unsure what to do with that? Someone brought this up during a recent Love Smarter University coaching call, and it led to such a meaningful conversation that I wanted to share some reflections with you. We’re often told not to compare our partners—and it’s true that comparison can stir up insecurity, jealousy, or pressure to keep things “equal.” But in nonmonogamy, comparison isn’t always the enemy....
2 months ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader, The question came from one of my LoveSmarter™ membners in our group chat—but I think it’s something a lot of us have asked at some point: “Where do I actually meet people these days?” They were feeling frustrated after yet another disappointing round on Feeld. The matches weren’t aligned. The energy felt off. The whole thing left them deflated and wondering if dating apps were even worth it anymore. I get it. I’ve been there. Apps can be exhausting. But they’re not the only way....
3 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, A month ago, I found myself doing something I had promised I’d never do again: live with a partner. It wasn’t a planned decision. In fact, it went against everything I’d built my life around for the past four years. But sometimes, the universe delivers opportunities that don’t align with the story you’ve written for yourself—and those can be the most transformative of all. Let me explain. About six weeks ago, my partner of almost a year and a half abruptly lost the place he was...
3 months ago • 5 min read
Hi Reader, Over the past two weeks, we’ve been exploring the story of Lily Phillips and her now infamous 100-men gangbang. First, we looked at why some women find the idea of a 100-men gangbang exciting—and how Lily’s fantasy (and reality) isn’t as rare as many assume. Then, we explored whether men would date or marry a woman who’s done something like that. (Surprisingly, many men said yes—and some even said they’d love it.) (If you missed those first two parts, you can catch up part 1 here...
4 months ago • 6 min read
Hi Reader, If you’ve been watching Harlem on Prime Video—a modern-day, Black version of Sex and the City—you know the show has been praised for its contemporary, funny, and authentic take on (at least high-end) Black love, friendship, and success. But in the final two episodes of Season 3 (and likely the last), they introduced a polyamory plotline that had me initially excited… and then completely disappointed. Was this finally the nuanced, accurate representation of consensual nonmonogamy...
5 months ago • 5 min read
Hi Reader, Valentine’s Day always brings up big conversations about love, commitment, and choosing the right partner. And this year, I had the chance to talk about one of TV’s most iconic love triangles—Carrie, Mr. Big, and Aidan from Sex and the City. I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Swooon for their new 'Love Lessons' series, where we delved into the intricate dynamics of one of television's most iconic love triangles: Carrie Bradshaw, Mr. Big, and Aidan Shaw from "Sex...
5 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or Instagram recently, you’ve probably come across mentions of the “4B” movement. Originally a radical feminist movement that took root in South Korea about a decade ago, it’s now making waves in the U.S.—especially after political events many women find deeply upsetting, such as Donald Trump’s presidency. 4B stands for “Four Nos”: no dating, no sex, no marriage, and no children. In other words, it’s a form of complete intentional partnered...
7 months ago • 5 min read