profile

Dr Zhana

What "Sex and the City" Got Right (and Wrong) About Love

Published 4 months ago • 2 min read

Hi Reader,

Valentine’s Day always brings up big conversations about love, commitment, and choosing the right partner. And this year, I had the chance to talk about one of TV’s most iconic love triangles—Carrie, Mr. Big, and Aidan from Sex and the City.

I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Swooon for their new 'Love Lessons' series, where we delved into the intricate dynamics of one of television's most iconic love triangles: Carrie Bradshaw, Mr. Big, and Aidan Shaw from "Sex and the City."

In our discussion, we explored:

  • Mr. Big's commitment issues: Analyzing the reasons behind his reluctance to fully commit to Carrie, including his emotional unavailability and the barriers he erected in their relationship.
  • Carrie's attempt at friendship with Big post-breakup: Reflecting on the challenges and emotional turmoil that can arise when trying to maintain a platonic relationship with an ex, especially when unresolved feelings linger.
  • The allure of the 'unattainable': Discussing why individuals, like Carrie, might be drawn to partners who are emotionally distant or inconsistent, and the psychological factors at play.

For those interested in a deeper dive into these themes and more, you can watch the full interview here: Is Big or Aidan Better for Carrie? Love Expert Weighs In On 'Sex and the City' Triangle.

I believe you'll find the insights both engaging and thought-provoking, especially if you're a fan of the series or intrigued by the complexities of romantic relationships!

Looking for Love? Here’s How to Choose Smarter.

If you’re looking for practical tips on how to actually date smart—especially if you’re dating with the intention to marry (or just want to avoid your own Big/Aidan situation), I also shared some science-backed best practices on Instagram.

Things like:

  • The ideal timeline for dating before marriage
  • Why co-living compatibility matters
  • The infatuation trap—and how to avoid it
  • And…why you should just end it if you’re two years in and still not engaged

Head to my Instagram now for all the details.

No matter where you are in your love life this Valentine’s Day—deep in the honeymoon phase, wondering if they’re the one, or happily single—understanding how attraction works can help you make better choices.

With love,
Dr. Zhana

The Feels

​
The Feels is a 3 hour facilitated experience that moves you through paired work; in each dyad, there's prompts + positive reflections + somatic elements like eye gazes + hugs.

​

Its designed to be the antidote to the bad behavior that online dating + tech more broadly has created; you'll leave feeling grounded in your body, connected to those around you, and have access to a community of people who're equally interested in how we might treat each other better.

​

Next February upcoming dates:​
- 02/19 - NY
- 02/21 - NY ENM
-02/27 - Philly

​

Check all dates + get tickets HERE (use code DRZHANA for 10% off!)

How Can I Support You

  • LoveSmarter™ University (LSU): My self-paced program combining science-based insights with live group coaching calls to help you thrive in modern love. Sign up now to be first in line when enrollment reopens!
    ​
  • One-on-One Transformation Sessions: Get personalized guidance in a focused 90-minute session to clarify your goals, uncover obstacles, and create actionable steps forward. Limited weekly spots, so click here to book yours!
    ​
  • One-on-One Longer-Term Consulting: For continued support, book private 1:1 consulting sessions with science-backed strategies tailored to your relationship needs. Learn more and apply here to start your journey.
    ​

78 beaver street PMB 146, Brooklyn, NY 11206
​Unsubscribe · Update your email preferences​

Dr Zhana

Read more from Dr Zhana

Hi Reader, The question came from one of my LoveSmarter™ membners in our group chat—but I think it’s something a lot of us have asked at some point: “Where do I actually meet people these days?” They were feeling frustrated after yet another disappointing round on Feeld. The matches weren’t aligned. The energy felt off. The whole thing left them deflated and wondering if dating apps were even worth it anymore. I get it. I’ve been there. Apps can be exhausting. But they’re not the only way....

2 months ago • 3 min read

Hi Reader, A month ago, I found myself doing something I had promised I’d never do again: live with a partner. It wasn’t a planned decision. In fact, it went against everything I’d built my life around for the past four years. But sometimes, the universe delivers opportunities that don’t align with the story you’ve written for yourself—and those can be the most transformative of all. Let me explain. About six weeks ago, my partner of almost a year and a half abruptly lost the place he was...

2 months ago • 5 min read

Hi Reader, Over the past two weeks, we’ve been exploring the story of Lily Phillips and her now infamous 100-men gangbang. First, we looked at why some women find the idea of a 100-men gangbang exciting—and how Lily’s fantasy (and reality) isn’t as rare as many assume. Then, we explored whether men would date or marry a woman who’s done something like that. (Surprisingly, many men said yes—and some even said they’d love it.) (If you missed those first two parts, you can catch up part 1 here...

3 months ago • 6 min read