Hi Reader,
Over the past two weeks, we’ve been exploring the story of Lily Phillips and her now infamous 100-men gangbang.
First, we looked at why some women find the idea of a 100-men gangbang exciting—and how Lily’s fantasy (and reality) isn’t as rare as many assume. Then, we explored whether men would date or marry a woman who’s done something like that. (Surprisingly, many men said yes—and some even said they’d love it.)
(If you missed those first two parts, you can catch up part 1 here and part 2 here.)
Today, we’re wrapping up this three-part series by tackling the most common objections people raised.
Because while some folks were intrigued or curious, a huge number were horrified, disgusted, or confused. And if we want to have an honest conversation about experiences like Lily’s, we can’t ignore those reactions.
So, here are the top 10 objections I got from my X and IG audiences about Lily’s 100-men gangbang—and my responses to each one.
Objection 1:
“No woman could find a 100-men train/gangbang fun and pleasurable.”
This was one of the most common reactions. Many people were genuinely baffled by the idea that a woman might enjoy something like this.
But here’s the thing: plenty of women do.
Some women have high sexual desire, novelty-seeking personalities, and an openness to extreme experiences. For them, a gangbang isn’t about suffering or enduring something unpleasant—it’s about pleasure, excitement, and, yes, fun.
In my own sex-positive IG audience, I’ve heard from many women who have either fantasized about or participated in gangbangs and found them thrilling and deeply satisfying.
It’s not for everyone, but for some, it’s the ultimate erotic adventure.
Objection 2:
“Nobody should do things for fun and pleasure. Hedonism is evil.”
This one came up more than I expected.
Some people truly believe that seeking fun and pleasure is wrong. They argue that hedonism leads to emptiness or moral decay, and that a life focused on pleasure can’t possibly be meaningful.
I get where this comes from—there are certainly ways to pursue pleasure that can be harmful to yourself or others. But pleasure itself isn’t the enemy.
For many people, sexual pleasure is an important and healthy part of life. As long as everyone involved is consenting and no one is being harmed, seeking fun and pleasure can be life-affirming and joyful.
And frankly, if you don’t want to prioritize fun and pleasure in your own life, that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean you get to make that choice for everyone else.
Objection 3:
“Women’s bodies and minds aren’t built for this.”
This argument has been around forever—that women are too fragile, too delicate, or too emotionally sensitive to handle multiple sexual partners, let alone 100 in one day.
It’s simply not true.
Women are capable of extraordinary physical and mental feats. We give birth. We run marathons. We climb mountains and fight wars.
Spending a day having sex, even with 100 men, may be intense—but it’s not inherently damaging or impossible. Sure, there might be physical soreness afterwards. That’s normal after any extended physical activity. But being tired or sore doesn’t mean a woman isn’t “built” for something.
And mentally? Some women thrive on these experiences. They find them empowering, pleasurable, and affirming. Just because it’s not your fantasy doesn’t mean it can’t be someone else’s reality.
Objection 4:
“Women aren’t built for multiple partners. Only men are.”
This is a common evolutionary psychology take: that men are designed to benefit from having multiple partners, while women are “wired” for monogamy.
There’s some evolutionary basis for men potentially gaining more reproductive advantages from multiple partners, on average.
But this doesn’t mean women don’t benefit from sexual variety, or that they’re biologically opposed to it. Some women experience genuine pleasure, fulfillment, and even empowerment from multiple partners.
And when social stigma is lower, more women feel free to explore what they want—whether that’s monogamy, polyamory, or something more adventurous.
Objection 5:
“Wanting a 100-men gangbang must be due to trauma, mental illness, ‘daddy issues,’ or low self-esteem.”
This is one of the oldest tropes about sexually liberated women: that there must be something wrong with them.
And yes, sometimes people engage in risky sexual behavior because of unresolved trauma or low self-worth.
But that’s not always the case.
Research consistently shows that highly sexually experienced women are no more or less mentally healthy than their less experienced peers—especially in societies where they’re not shamed for their sexuality.
For some women, this kind of experience is about autonomy, desire, and pleasure—not pathology.
It’s important not to project our own assumptions onto other people’s choices.
Objection 6:
“A 100-men gangbang must be traumatizing and lead to mental illness or suicide.”
This objection takes the last one a step further: not only must you be damaged to want this, but doing it will inevitably damage you more.
But again—it depends.
Any extreme activity carries risks, whether it’s physical, emotional, or social.
I don’t personally know anyone who’s had sex with 100 men in one day. But I do know several dozen women who’ve had sex with 5 to 50 men in a day. And none of them reported becoming suicidal or mentally unwell because of it.
For some, these experiences are intensely positive. Others might regret them. What matters is why you’re doing it and how you’re doing it.
If it’s an informed, empowered decision, it can be a deeply satisfying experience.
Objection 7:
“Sex is sacred. You shouldn’t debase it like that.”
I’ve heard this argument so many times: that sex is inherently sacred and should only happen in certain contexts (monogamy, love, marriage, etc.).
But sex can be sacred and casual.
It can be profound, raw, playful, transactional, loving—or all of the above.
For some people, a gangbang is a spiritual experience of connection and surrender. For others, it’s just fun. Both are valid.
Objection 8:
“You can’t get past the stigma of having had sex with 100 men in a day.”
There’s truth here. Living openly as someone who’s done something as stigmatized as a 100-men gangbang does come with social costs.
You’ll encounter judgment. Some people will reject you outright.
But it’s not impossible to build a life you love.
Plenty of people find sex-positive communities, partners, and friends who embrace their past.
You develop thick skin. You get clear on your values. And you find the people who celebrate you for who you are.
Objection 9:
“No man will ever marry a woman who’s done this.”
I covered this one in depth last week.
And the truth is—many men would marry a woman with a wild sexual past. Some even prefer it.
If you missed Part 2 of this series, go back and read it for more on this topic.
Objection 10:
“She’ll get an STI.”
Yes, the risk of an STI increases with the number of partners. That’s basic math.
But it’s not a guarantee.
Safer sex practices, regular testing, and (sometimes) luck play a big role. And even if someone gets an STI, most are treatable or manageable.
For some of us, the potential risks are outweighed by the rewards of sexual freedom and pleasure.
So… should women do 100-men gangbangs?
I’m not here to tell anyone what they should do.
But I am here to say: If you want to do something extreme, do it smartly. Know the risks. Minimize them. Be prepared for the consequences.
And if you don’t want to do it? That’s okay, too.
As Cyndi Lauper said:
[Some] girls just wanna have fun.
Now, I want to hear from you:
What did you think of this three-part series? What came up for you?
Join the conversation on Instagram or X—I’m curious to hear your take!
With curiosity,
Dr. Zhana